I feel awful. Hannah screaming continuously has made me depressed. It is terrible when I know something is wrong but can't fix it and then I get irritated--then I feel extremely guilty for being frustrated. I told my mom yesterday I couldn't do this and didn't even want to be a mom. How's that for shitty-mom-of-the-year-award? She just said I could do it and it's normal to feel like this sometimes.
I never thought being a mom would be so hard. It's even harder right now b/c it's just Josh & I--no family, no friends...no one to give us a couple hours for a break. And yet when I have a few minutes I'm on here typing instead of lingering in the bath tub--that's b/c Hannah is sleeping & I'm afraid she'll wake up when I'm in the tub and I'll have to get out. It's easier to leave the keyboard to check on her!
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2 comments:
You aren't terrible! It is hard being a mom at times. I sat on my porch Monday night and cried because I felt like a failure as a mother, but we all have those moments. We aren't failures, and the fact that we worry about being bad parents just further proves that we aren't. It's ok cause you're not alone hon!
I don't know, J. I think you are doing a great job. Even though I'm not a mom yet, I look at you and your family and it makes me excited about what is coming for me.
It is actually reassuring to read such honesty. Some times the new moms I read about seem to have everything together and perfect. I know I won't be able to be that way. I guess none of us really can.
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