Like a Virgin

My first blog, stepping into unknown territory here. We'll see how it goes :) It's hard enough getting time for a shower, let alone taking time to type out my life these days.

It is amazing the super powers I've developed in the last 26 days--I guess being a mom does that. I can hear, see, sense, and smell like never before. Yeah, the smelling I could do without but it comes with the territory :)

There were times in my life when I felt complete, swore that I couldn't feel any more happiness then I did at that certain time and then BAM*** Hannah was born and blew that notion away. How can such a tiny little baby completely steal my heart & soul? Every time I look at her, think of her, hear her...I am simply overcome w/ emotion. Makes me think about all the times my own mother said, "You'll know what I mean one of these days, just wait until you're a mother". So in typical fashion, I blew it off. I will never, of course, let her know she was right about it :)

Josh and I are blessed in so many ways. I could not ask for a better or more loving husband. I feel bad for women who seem so unhappy w/ their partners (husbands, BFs, etc) but so grateful that I have nothing bad to say about Josh. He is truly my rock and I can't imagine going through this new adventure w/out him. He is such a super daddy and is already wrapped around Hannah's little finger. I hope she doesn't figure that out for a while! I love to watch them together and listen to him sing to her--he makes up his own songs, which he dubs his "Platinum Hits"--will never get a record deal for them, but jeez, they are hilarious and Hannah loves them!

This mommyhood thing is not glamorous by any means. Jeesh, it's all I can do to jump in the shower before Josh gets home from work and I am living in my old gym shorts and tshirts--but I've never had someone so important to take care of before. My crowning achievement a couple days ago was fitting into my pre-pregnancy shorts. Granted, there is only 2 pair I can get in and look decent, but hey, it's better than nothing. I love the fact I can fit back in my favorite jeans. Maybe not important to some people, but it makes me feel better about myself since I've been slobbing around so much. Josh tells me I'm beautiful no matter what and tells me every day. What more could I ask for? It's meaningful b/c he sincerely means it--doesnt' care that my hair is greasy, my face is broke out, I have spit up running down my shirt and am sporting hairy legs...thank you, Lord, for Joshua and all that he is to me.

This is the hardest job, hands down, I've ever had. I have had difficult times in nursing before but nothing compares to being a mom. I am staying at home for a while before going back to work (not working until we move to Indiana) because I don't want to give it up. Definitely don't want to do full time, but part time would be nice somewhere.

OH, and Bing and Trax...wow. I feel bad b/c they don't get attention like they used to, but we try. It's just SO hard and they don't understand. I know they feel slighted and even when we want to walk them it's 100 frickin' degrees at 2030. I hate SC, have I mentioned that? I hate the weather and the property taxes and the fire ants and the lack of grass. Whew. I cannot wait to move back North. I love it just being Josh, Hannah, and I--no family to deal with (that sounds bad, doesn't it?). I know it is important for Hannah to grow up around some family though, so in a sense I am looking forward to that, it will just be hard b/c it won't just be "us" anymore. I am thankful we've had our first year alone, a lot of people don't get that.